I love seasons, and I am probably one of the few that will attest that Southern California actually has seasons. We, of course, experience seasons in our lives as well, no matter our geography–they are the passing of time, not only for mother nature, but for her human inhabitants as well.
Spring is considered new beginnings. Summer brings about its noalgic bliss and being carefree. Fall is when we get to harvest what we have worked so hard planting and cultivating. And winter…well, winter has its own glory in providing a sense of stillness, but my goodness…it’s a tough season too, and can get to all of us.
Winter has always maintained its sense of dread: Be prepared, scarcity is coming. Winter can show up at almost any time.
How do you prepare for an early, surprise, or especially long winter? This year I learned a trick–I learned how to Reframe, or view things in a more positive way. For most of my life, whenever I found myself facing a challenging decision or situation (one where I would experience growth), I would tend to focus on one thing: that the only possible outcome would be negative and/or painful. By focusing all my thought here, then, that’s all I would feel. And because I couldn’t bring myself to act, that fear kept me right where fear wanted me…protected and secure, but also stagnant and trapped. What’s worse, it almost always showed back up again down the road, because if there is fear to conquer, it will inevitably resurface.
This year, I Reframed…and began thinking in terms of what good could happen. I really allowed myself to let that answer weigh in and feel what it would be like if the good outcome happened. Often times when we find ourselves in winter, we get lost in fear and scarcity. We lose our power and strength of choice. But take a minute to reframe, especially if this particular internal debate has come up before.
The point of reframing is to get yourself to a mental state that allows for possibility when considering your situation. The following questions are for you to use when you feel trapped:
When you feel like your perspective is narrow try asking these questions (eventually, you can ask them daily):
What am I happy about with this? If you spit out “Nothing!”, it’s because that’s an easy (albeit mighty) response. But keep going, add the word ‘could’ to allow for possibility.
What could I be happy about?
And persist with these questions:
What am I proud of? (What could I be proud of?)
What am I excited about? (What could I be excited about?)
This simple reframing, opens a whole new mindset of being excited to take action, and that positive energy will overcome being scared stiff. Because you’ve allowed for possibility and potential growth, you’ll begin to realize there is just as good a chance for excellence to prevail –and that step alone guarantees a positive impact on your soul. I promise you, you will come out wondering why you were so worried in the first place. It will not only help you shorten your winters; it will bring a bit of summer bliss to your soul.
Karyn Danielle Chylewski
karyn danielle leadership coaching