I’ve always thought I lacked courage and bravery, so I was drawn to the underdog, you know … David beating Goliath, Mockingjay being victorious. I never understood where they got ‘it’ from, how they were able to stand up by only relying on themselves. I could never do that.
I was listening to a podcast on courage and where it came from, since it is a trait that has always interested me. The guest’s response to the question we often hear asked of brave souls:
“How did you find the courage to do such a thing?”, changed my perspective on this valiant trait. She kind of scoffed and said: “It wasn’t like I wasn’t afraid … I was terrified. Having courage doesn’t mean you aren’t scared. It’s being scared but doing it anyway because you know there truly is no other choice.”
This. Blew. Me. Away.
This FIRST statement suddenly made courage seem attainable to me. Me!! She had cracked the code on finding courage. I had always pictured these brave warriors to be stone-cold in the face of scary things, unshakable, ready to defend what they thought was right no matter the personal consequences or even physical threat! What I learned on this podcast was that they do face their challenges using that approach, but it isn’t easy, they’re scared too.
The guest went on to reveal the SECOND shocking truth … that she would never have been able to accomplish what she did on her own. She had reasons beyond her own values and desire to succeed, catapulting her beyond fear and on to action. What could be more powerful than those? She was fighting for people who could not fight for themselves. And I have come to learn, that whether it’s other people needing us, or other people offering a word of encouragement, or peace, other people are the common thread to pull us into finding our courage. Personal strength is boosted by others faith in us. It’s quite remarkable when you consider how much more courageous you are when others are relying on you to do it.
If I had to come up with a checklist for tapping into courage, this would be it:
- Put fear in its place (FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real): what are you avoiding?
- Be able to visualize the result
- Stay in alignment with your values: that is what people are inspired by and will fight for
- Use others for inspiration, it’s necessary:
a) Share the burden: it will clear your mind and you will find support
b) When you feel lost: use other people and your own heroes for strength
There is no sense in going it alone. Leaders are often alone in leading … but we rely on everyone around us for the energy, inspiration, and support.
After 20 years of leading dysfunctional teams into high performing ones, Karyn Danielle Chylewski now shares her expertise by partnering with business leaders and entrepreneurs to support them with their leadership journey and in particular how to influence and inspire their teams. She is a NeuroLeadership Institute Results trained leadership coach and believes wholeheartedly that leadership is a skill that can be developed and elicited from others. Along with a passion for getting people to be their best selves other passions include neuroscience, good food, wine, anything outdoors, stimulating conversation, and of course Labradors. Learn to lead like the warrior you are at www.karyndanielle.com